Cranial Irradiation cont.

What was I saying? Oh yeah. Uuhhhhh. Heh heh. Urrrrrr.

Friday am early
It’s been an interesting week. On Monday I went into the Oncology Radiation Center, which we’ll call the Fry Shack, to be fitted for a new White Hat! You wear this hat to keep aligned with the machine that sends the DEATH RAYS into your skull. It is made out of this weird stretchy plastic mesh material, which comes in a flat sheet and they warm in a pan. They have you lie on the table in the position for frying, and then place this warm wet stretchy plastic goop over your face and head, and it clips into the table. They mold it down into your eyes, which you better have closed, and around the curves and giant lumps and deep gashes of your head. In ten minutes it hardens into this plastic mesh hat. If they find this thing in 2,000 years they will be sure the owner really looked like King Tut.


Tuesday I went back to the Fry Shack and they took a couple pictures of me in my new hat, to get their lasers and DEATH RAYS all lined up for the Armageddon to come. I asked a few questions, like would I call the dinosaurs and what other side effects would I have. They said the treatment I was getting was totally wussy, the real men get like 3 times the level of radiation for 6 weeks straight and then die. They said I would not call the dinosaurs, not get really bad headaches, probably remember my name and my address but maybe not where I parked. The doctor did say that the combination of spinal tap injected methotrexate and cranial irradiation did cause some loss of brainpower, i.e. you get stupider, but he said, you won’t notice. Ha ha. After he got up, he also said you might get a sunburn too.

There were a lot of problems scheduling the doctor that was doing the spinal tap and methotrexate injection, since it had to be done for the next 5 weeks. We finally nailed down Thursday morning, so yesterday at 7am I went to Sierra Vista for the 8am treatment. The doctor showed up around 8:45, and got right to work. I curl up into the fetal position and she starts poking this long needle in until she has found the nerve bundle that goes down my left leg. Somehow, without moving, I jump four feet and say “I think you’re on the nerve bundle”, maybe not that calmly. It was pretty strange, because it was so instantaneously extremely painful, and then gone. I’ve always loved that about some types of pain, just light you up and then gone. It was strange too that the first time she did it the pain shot through my hip, and the second time it was the calf and foot. I imagine she is barely touching this nerve bundle, but man oh Marathon Man, “It’s Safe!” She is very apologetic, and after some more fishing around she decides she can’t get it. The doctor at Stanford had a hard time, and this doctor had a hard time the first time, and she says it will be better to do this with Xray guidance. That means I have to come back at 10:30. I call the Fry Shack, who is waiting for me to finish this, and tell them to keep my order warm.

The XRay guys are da bomb. It is clearly easier to do a spinal when you can see what you are doing. They can’t see the nerve bundle, but they can see where they want to go, and it is all pretty painless. They tell me I have to lie flat for 24 hours! The first doctor wanted me to lay flat for 1 hour, and at Stanford they wanted me to lay flat for 3 hours. I get wheeled on a gurney back to the day treatment area, and the nurse says the Xray doc is very cautious with the 24 hour recommendation. I have to lay there an hour, have some lunch while horizontal (spaghetti and salad, that’s tricky), and then go across to the Fry Shack.

They are ready for me. I get on the table, they plug me into my hat, tell me there will be whirring and sizzling and popping as the DEATH RAYS bombard my skull, then I’ll get rotated and they will bombard the other side, and it will all be over in 2 minutes. Now normally I can control the fear reaction and my breathing, but when they all left the room and that machine kicked on, and all that whirring and sizzling started up, I could literally feel my brains heating up. I didn’t want to swallow or move in any way, lest I fry some unfryable part, and that didn’t help my anxiety level. I could feel my skin heating up, but I kept thinking I shouldn’t be feeling anything, and wondering if they were giving me the he-man dosage. Then it was over.

Started at 7am, home at 2:15, 1 hour of procedures, 6 hours of forms and waiting. I get horizontal, but not for 24 hours. At 5:30 Mikey and I go to his school, where he is playing and I am dealing in the annual Blackjack Tournament. I feel fine, a little warm under the hat. Mikey makes the final table, takes fourth place and wins an MP3 player. Home at 9, eat dinner, in bed at 10:30. What a day.

Today I go in at 10 am for DEATH RAYS. A great thing happened that will help my recovery. I had appealed to the Superintendent of Golf Courses for the county to reinstate my volume discount card and cart sticker from last year, and he has agreed. In ’03 and ’04 I laid out $600+ for these cards, and each year was injured by April. The whole idea of the volume discount is that at a certain volume, you save money. Anyway, they are giving me a discount card and cart sticker for this year. That is awesome.

And hey, listen up Mac, I went out Monday at Morro Bay and shot 91, 3 months ago I didn’t think I’d ever golf again, but sweet mother that felt great. I even went Mac on a couple holes, and I mean big Mac, rippling Mac, barking howling feed the kitty Mac. Short game was pretty iffy, but it always was.

Blog comments are getting really funny. I am bringing up Tim’s thoughts about the ir part of irradiation with the Fry Shack people, but it scares me to say anything negative with these people. One little nudge of the dial, one little oops, and it’s Chernobyl time for Johnny. I should point out also, everything they give me for chemotherapy causes cancer! It’s downright crazy! It’s almost like some sort of planned obsolescence of humans. Sure, you’ll beat the leukemia, but we’ll be seeing that colon of yours in 5 years!

I think I may be moving to Korea, or one of the other advanced countries, where old embryos can be used to save humans, and are not revered as ‘living things’. My toenail clippings are technically ‘living things’ but nobody objects when I throw them out. Americans are going to start leaving the country to get quality health care, and it will only be the wealthy doing this. This so-called ‘Culture of Life’ government is so full of shit. And to think GWB had a sister die of leukemia. Don’t get me started.

Sunday morning
Oops, a day late, I forgot to post this dang thing. I can’t seem to get the picture of the white hat I took on Friday to email to me, camera phones! I will have to post it later, or take a pic with a real camera tomorrow. I was fried again on Friday, and my head is lightly sunburned and I have a killer headache, maybe a cold or allergies and not from the DEATH RAYS. Dana is off to San Fran for the weekend with her sisters, and I am doing laundry and chauffeur duties, which mean watching golf. By next weekend I may be feeling pretty fried. I better go golfing later today, it's boiling hot here!