Goodbye Mom

In Grace,
a fighter and a lover,
a nurturer, wife and mother and daughter,
raised in
fighting times, tough times,
worked hard to rise up,
feisty, full of life and
persistence,
smart and wise and
unwilling to be beaten down.
We are here now
thanks to her,
go in Grace.


My mom was such a fighter that she was hanging on until she had said goodbye to all her children, and was waiting on my brother and I to make it back to RI. Frank made it Wednesday, and I got there at ten yesterday morning. In spite of how weak she was, she acknowledged our presence, struggling to get her piercing blue eyes open and to say hello, and Frank and I went back after lunch to sit with her. Each of us spoke to her, telling her what a good mom she was, and giving her permission to stop fighting, that it was okay with us. It’s kind of ridiculous to think that she wanted or needed our permission, but I think she was fighting hard to see all her children one last time.

Soon my mom became very labored in her breathing, and the nurse told us she may be transitioning. My brother was holding her hand, and I took her other hand, and she passed away. A great woman has moved on, free of this mortal pain, and my family appreciates all your thoughts and condolences.

She lived through the Depression as a child and teen, and was shaped in part by that experience. Her dad was a proud submarine mechanic in the great war, and then found work as a custodian. Mom told me how she and her mom would save their cigarette butts, and then put a pin through the ends and smoke the remainders. When I was 2 and still in diapers, she was caring for Frank at 5, Joanna at 4, me at 2, my newborn sisters Lisa and Leslie, and her mom, who was terminally ill. My dad was forever working, trying to bring in enough for our family to get ahead.

We were able to move to a bigger house in the suburbs, and mom went off to college while taking care of us, earning her masters degree and becoming a teacher. She was a very hard-working and intelligent woman, and taught us a work ethic and perseverance that has helped us in our lives. I could always count on her for some guidance when things were difficult, but she would never interfere in my life, never let me hide behind her apron strings. We will miss her.