Under pressure

Well, anchors aweigh isn't all that easy. I did the crazy thing and bought the Winnebago Chieftain, the 22' with granite counters and wood flooring. It is much roomier inside, full oven and 4-burner stove, lots more storage, generator, bigger bath, and I figured it would be better to go in style. John and I may be more at peace with some space. The Chief has bunkbeds in the back, a couch that makes a full-size bed, and a twin bed in the loft over the front seats. Plenty of room for hitchhiking hotties. Do they still do that?

Plus, I need to use up my carbon allotment. I am hoping for 7-8 mpg from the 7.8L 454 Chevy monster engine, maybe more since I am not towing anything. However, there are a few big issues. The Chief is in the RV garage right now, getting the fuel tank fixed. It is leaking at the fill tube, which I didn't realize until we put some gas in it. When I bought it the tank was near empty. I suppose the seller knew that leak was there, but maybe that's why it was only $4K. With only one 32 gallon fuel tank, the range is only about 250 miles, where the Econoline had 2 tanks and a range of 400 plus miles.

I think with the upgrades and miles, 67,500, I have a few grand to fix what is wrong and still be ahead. I have spent the last week fixing lots of smaller things. The guy I bought it from kept losing keys, so I am struggling with doors and some side compartments. It's time to see a locksmith. The spare tire cover was locked with no keys, so I drilled the locks out and have it working but not locking. A few miniblinds, light covers, non-working overhead lights, a big cleaning, but the major components like propane, toilets and sinks, wastewater tanks, are all working and not leaking. The engine is strong, new front shocks, tranny seems sound, and I hope the mechanic doesn't find much else.

That other RV I bought, the Ford Econoline, was displaying signs of a troubled youth, so I will take the time to fix some leaky spots over the next few months, and try to recover the costs in the spring when people are thinking of travelling again. Dana of course was right, don't rush into it she said, but I don't feel like time is on my side. I am trying to get back east to see my Mom by her birthday, Sep. 19, so realistically we have to leave by the 5th if we want to see some sights along the way.

We had planned to leave this past weekend, then reality struck me in the head. I had an appointment Friday to bring the RV in and get the fuel tank fixed. I had a chemo dose of methotrexate on Thursday, and then 8:30 Friday another chemo appointment for some Asparaginase. I had this drug back in '05 at Stanford and had a local reaction to it at the site of injection (crook of my elbow), and then I had it a couple of weeks ago as an IV. I had no reaction then except a tougher nadir, but it's a more powerful drug than Cytarabine.

So Friday they start dripping the asparaginase into me, and about 3 minutes in I feel the world is getting a little shakier, and my head is heating up. I ring the holy moly bell, and the nurse comes over and sees that I am crashing, going into anaphylactic shock. She and some other nurses call the doc over, and they are hitting me with epinephrine and other stuff, and they call 911. I vaguely hear them calling out the blood pressure, and it is dropping like a stone. When it hits 60/40 I think "This is it, baby, I am going down," but I have a great doc and skilled nurses, and by the time the ambulance arrives I am stabilized.

Off we go to the hospital, to the ER, and the doctor there decides he has to rule out a stroke or heart attack. I had an allergic reaction, I am not pregnant either, don't make me pee on a stick. It is now after 10:00 am, ER is a zoo complete with loonies, and I see my day slipping away. My boat won't be setting sail this weekend. The doctor comes in with CT results and tells me my brain looks abnormal, there may be leukemia in there. I tell him we just ruled that out a week ago with a spinal tap, but he is undaunted. I am doing all I can not to get sarcastic with this guy, since he holds my day in his clipboard head. He wants to be House, and I want to be Road Warrior.

Now he wants an MRI of my head to see what is going on, and he schedules it for 3:30. I suggest that whatever is crawling around in my cranium won't kill me over the weekend; let's schedule this for Monday. No, this looks weird, let's get it done, and oh, no food until then. I ask why no food for an MRI of my skull, and he says they don't want me puking in the MR tube. I tell him I just had a dose of Anzmet, a very good anti-nausea, and I am not a puker anyway, but no, no food until 4:30. I didn't plan to fast but what can you do? I had no book, no magazine, only my dying cell phone. Thankfully there was a succession of loomies trying to get some pharmaceuticals for their pains, and they were entertaining.

We get the MRI done, and the doctor who reads the scan comes in and says I have brain damage; the sheath that should be wrapped around each neuron is stripped away. That expains the weight loss, I tell him, and the urge to pole dance. For crying out loud, what did he expect after 5 1/2 years of chemo, cranial and full body irradiation, and too many drugs? But, let's press on. He says this could indicate leukemia or MS, they have similar symptoms. Numbness in the hands, vision problems, loss of strength. Dana has shown up just in time to hear all this from the doctor, including some bit about possible seizures. That makes her real comfy with the idea of an 8,000 mile road trip in a big old RV. Hah, brain damage, what do they know?

I ask him about the prognosis with MS, and he tells me it would take years to kill me. I tell him it's a good thing since I am already dying of leukemia and only have 1-2 years left. I know how this will play out, though. Some genius researcher in Germany or Japan will come up with a stem cell cure for ALL, and then can I can turn into a MS patient. If that happens I will buy a 30 year old airplane and learn to fly. The bucket gets bigger. Heavier too.

So now we are probably leaving this weekend, along with all the other Labor Day vacationers. First to Zion, then to the Badlands. I told John I get the white hat and he gets the black, and we ride horses at each other down this canyon, firing away with laser tag. That would be cool. Then we have a shootout in Deadwood. Hah, brain damage. Niagara, Toronto, maybe Montreal, hang in there Mom, I am riding a white horse with a white hat.

Glad to hear that Pat came up with Winnebacome, Winnebago. Kind of long though. We are thinking of other names for the RV; Dana suggested 'John's Folly,' but I like the idea of a woman's name for machines and boats. Winnie is too obvious. What Indians had women as chiefs? Sacagawea was not a chief, but she did great things and was a wanderlust. That name may be too long and get shortened to 'The Sac,' not very appealing. Same problem with Pocahontas. So, I am open to suggestions. John says 'Chief Bull Goose Loony,' forget women's names, but why not Chief Bromden then? Chief Broom suits my anal retentive nature. Plus, he got away. Winnalottery? WinnaWinnaChickenDinna?

Nice to hear from you Janna and MG, hope all is well. And Mac, if I coulda bought that Appalachian hillbilly moonshine RV, I woulda, but a liberal like me would get found out and Deliveranced, and I don't want that. I try not to joust with the tea partiers, but it is so hard. Now that Obama is a muslim from Kenya responsible for the deficit and wars, what can I say? Thankfully I can always count on some serene imagery from Mo to grease my anchor chain. Say, if I name the RV Minnie, we could all get in and be the Pep boys, Minnie, Mo and Mac!

So if all goes well, we are out of here and on an epic journey. I will keep a travelogue posted when we find internet cafes. Anchors aweigh!