Oh Bla Di

I added a little music player, so to shut off the music, scroll down to it, left side, and pause it. Only a few songs right now, but it will evolve. Should it stay or should it go? The editor doesn't like it because a blog session opens when she opens the internet, and she has to go pause the music. I will remove it soon, I think.

Life goes on. We bury our friends and family too soon, or we are buried by them, too soon. The holes that radiation left in my head are annoying, but the holes left in my psyche as those I care about die are more painful. I have always said physical pain is easy to overcome; once it is gone it's hard to recall. Emotional pain is different though; I can still feel sad about my father's death just by recalling moments around that event.

We used to play this game when I was a kid where we added the words 'Between the sheets' to the end of the titles in old poetry books. I remember particularly Edgar Guest's 'Raisin Pie' and Frank Stanton's 'Keep A Goin’.

Keep-A-Goin

If you strike a thorn or rose,

Keep a goin’!

If it hails or if it snows,

Keep a goin’!

‘Taint no use to sit and whine

When the fish ain’t on your line’

Bait your hook and keep a tryin’-Keep a goin’!

When the weather kills your crop,

Keep a goin’!

Though ‘tis work to reach the top.

Keep a goin’!

S’pose you’re out o’ every dime-

Gittin’ broke ain’t any crime.

Tell the world you’re feelin’ prime-Keep a goin’!

When it looks like all is up,

Keep a goin’!

Drain the sweetness from the cup,

Keep a goin’!

See the wild birds on the wing,

Hear the bells that sweetly ring.

When you feel like sighing, sing-Keep a goin’!

Frank L. Stanton

One of the things that keeps me going, besides this absurd human tendency to keep a goin, is my kids. Not that they need me, but I enjoy them too much. Mike especially is having a great run right now, with his acting and singing skills just in full play. He hangs with a great bunch of kids, and everything is dropping in place for him. Not like when I was his age.

Mike had a choir concert last week, and he did the 'Somewhere over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World' medley that Iz made famous. Mike came out with his ukulele and rocked the house. Not to brag, but I am bragging. Here is a not-so-good video of it. I never remember my video camera when it counts, because a better made DVD will come out for $20, but waiting for it kills me.

The Iz version can be seen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltAGuuru7Q  Unfortunately the medley version is no longer available because of copyright issues, but this is a nice version of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.'  Long Live Iz!

I mentioned the Mardi Gras Ball in my last post, and here are some pics (with the one at the top of the post).


The city of SLO has done everything in their powers to kill Mardi Gras in SLO, and have almost succeeded, at a cost of millions of dollars. The people that attend the ball are the last of the crews, trying to squeeze a few more good times out of the event. I noticed that the people at the ball are getting older every year, which means no new blood, so it will be over soon.

Can't let go

Ditz. That's me, for not using 'ditz'. Sheesh. Just can't let go of a Scrabble loss.

It's still raining out there, good thing. I played Dairy in a howling cold wind on Sunday, and a good back nine kept me just under 100. Then, Sunday night was the Mardi Gras Ball. Exactly three years ago, I was dancing at this ball, and was totally out of gas. Next day I found out I had leukemia.

This time, I was sore from golfing, my hips and sciatica felt like bone grinding on bone, and standing in one spot is the worst. It was a good party, good band, plenty of decent food. I tried to dance but was awkward and pained, just like always, and in spite of wanting to have fun I couldn't do it. Dana was really in a partying mood, so I am a disappointment.

It's now Thursday, I started this post on Monday, but I've been distracted from finishing it. A friend of mine just died, and I can't get my head around it. I sometimes think I am just playing out the string, and I am sashaying through the days, not doing anything important, just xing out days. It's as though I am waiting for some event to knock me into motion. Maybe this death is the knock I need. I think for now I'll just try to update the list of books I liked and leave it at that.

Brr rainy days

Our rain season has finally arrived after taking a few years off. Much needed.

The dang mucositis seems to have reappeared after a hiatus. It is only manifesting with a tender tongue and inner cheeks, but I am not liking toast and other sharp-edged foods, and I am back on the meds that battle this. As the immuno-suppressant has been turned down, I am also cursed with very itchy calves, a minor gvh reaction. If that's all there is, let's just keep dancing.

Where was 'ziti' when I needed it? In one of the holes blasted in my brain by radiation. We got together with the neighbors last night for pizza and scrabble, and just when I needed 'ziti' to close out the game, my brain came up with 'zoot' as in zoot suit. Unfortunately zoot is not in the scrabble dictionary, and so I went from first to last. Dang. It's been a tough week. Janice told me I should add to the list of books, which is a list of 1 book right now, so I will do that, I've been meaning to do that. I am thinking how best to format that list; does it have a rating system, or review, or nothing but title and author?

I went golfing on Wednesday, and it was as though I crawled out of the hospital bed to play. Pathetic, weak, and unbalanced. I blamed the six layers of clothes I was wearing, and the cold windy weather, but deep down I came up with a different reason - I suck at golf. Oh well, there are worse things, as my mom would say.

It is Saturday now, another overcast day, just waiting for the rain. We are sitting around watching La Vie En Rose but I am bored with it (subtitles), so I'll finish this and post it.

88

We had a laptop that John spilled water on about 4 years ago, frying the motherboard. I only told him 100 times not to have liquids at the laptop area. I realize that was totally insufficient; I told the boys to brush their teeth well over 5000 times before that sunk in. Anyway, I finally retrieved the documents that were on that laptop hard drive (thanks Teshinsky), and some of the photos bring back memories of happier and healthier times. This is Mike and I at a luau on Kauai, getting sauced. November 2000.

Not much happening around here. My health is OK, the cold lingers a little, my weight is 160. I am botching up some aspect of cooking each day, and life is grand. Onions have me crying daily. I tried the plate of warm water trick, and it helped a little. I made turkey with cranberry cous-cous Tuesday night, and it wasn't my favorite meal. The curry made it too spicy for my tastes.

Last night I made some sort of soup that was more like cauliflower and broccoli with pasta and broth. It was pretty good. I'll be having it for lunch when I run out of the bean soup that has served as lunch for the week so far. We need a reprieve from new meals until we clear out the leftovers.

Played 18 holes at Dairy Creek Tuesday, first 18 since 6/28/08. The scorecard is still on my cart from that day. I shot an 86 from the blues that day, and yesterday I shot 88 from the whites. On the comeback trail. I have been practicing at least every other day, and I am swinging better. I was short on most of my approach shots, so I need to add a club next time to compensate for weakness.

My Stanford doc, in response to my question, says I can go back to work part-time 6 months after transplant, around the end of March. A no-travel desk job to avoid the ill flyers. In this economy, I don't see much happening job-wise that I don't create myself. I have to do more yoga with the Wii so I can kick myself in the ass. It's cold in the garage where the Wii lives, and I'm a temperature wussy.