I'd like to solve

Yesterday was supposed to be another epic day - the Wheel of Fortune Wheelmobile was here in SLO, and I was finally going to get my chance to showcase my only great talent, unjumbling words. This is a disease I have had for years. Driving around, I will take a word from a sign and start rearranging it into all the other words that can be formed from the letters. Often I get to the point where I cannot recall the starting word, and those letters will roll around in my head for hours, until I solve it or the letters land in one of the holes in my head and are gone. I almost always do the Jumble in the daily newspaper in my head in 30 seconds, and the big Sunday Jumble in under a minute.

Almost every night I watch the Wheel, and scream at the contestants that solve too early and miss their chance at big money, or can't figure out an obvious puzzle, or ask for a letter that is already used. So I went over and signed up for my spot on the Wheel. You could sign up for one of three hour slots, and then come back at your designated time.

When I came back for my time, there were about 200 people milling about. The MC said they were looking for enthusiasm, and everyone seemed able to muster some. The MC called groups of five, and they went on stage and each gave a brief summary of who they were and what they do. The five on stage then had to solve a puzzle, each getting 3 seconds to give a letter and chance to solve. Everybody got a prize - a hat, a pen, or some other trinket.

After they went through about 40 people, time was up for our hour slot. I never got a chance. The whole thing was a lottery, and even those of us that didn't make it up to the stage still have a chance, although lesser, to get called for a second audition. Solving the puzzle first did not increase your odds, so they said, but if you made it to the stage and made an impression, your odds were much better to make round 2.

I was thinking as I drove away that I should have signed up for one of the later times, that most people would go for the first slot, and there would be better odds on the later times. Oh well. Here I am always chiding contestants on the TV for bad gamesmanship, and then I blow it (maybe). I was depressed the rest of the day. My only chance now is to get through to Pat Sajak and get him to agree that 'Warrior Week', all contestants that have battled cancer, is a good idea. I would of course get a chance then.

In the middle of my post-Pat pity party, I told the wife that I was sick of these doldrums, doing laundry and dishes, and messing up the shopping and cooking. She blasted me, of course, pointing out that I didn't work, had everything I needed or wanted, had free time to golf, lived in paradise, and generally had it better than most in the world. I tried arguing that I was working as househubby, but she didn't buy it. She wasn't going to let me have a pity party, and this raised my hackles and I began defending myself as best I could.

That's when my clutch went out. I said to her, 'This is why men do not open up to women, because when they do, they get bitch-slapped.' I did not need that 'bitch' qualifier on my slapping, but my clutch slipped, out it tumbled, and now I must pay the fine. A week of silence? Two weeks in solitary? Banishment? Whatever, I'll do the time, and I am sorry I said it. I've tried replacing that clutch, but can't do it. It's a centrifugal clutch, like on a weed whip or chainsaw, so it engages as it revs up, and those have always been difficult to manage. Oh well. I misspoke and I am sorry, Dana.

It's probably time for me to take a road trip, load the car with the camping gear and head out, points unknown. I feel bad for Dana, who is trapped in my cancer as much as I am, and can't get a break from me. She is dying to plan a trip to Ireland, Scotland, and England this summer, but I keep wavering based on my doc's wish that I stay within 5 hours. Is it worth the risks to go on what could be one last great vacation with the boys? Are the risks that high? I am leaning toward going.

On a more cheery note, Mike has been accepted into PCPA conservatory (http://www.pcpa.org/ ), so we know where he will be the next two years. His buddy Sean is also accepted, so they have a car pool. The downside is that Mike knows the rest of his time at SLO High is meaningless (he has to pass Econ), so he is slacking big time.

The drama club is performing 'The Servant of Two Masters' right now, a commedia dell'Arte play, and Mike is the servant Truffaldino. It is a tough play, lots of fast-paced dialogue, but the troupe did a good job the show we saw. If you get a chance to go see it, go next Thursday or Friday at 7pm, or Saturday matinee at 3pm. The only play left after this is a Monte Python coffee night on May 1st.

Rememer those last few months of high school, bittersweet times when the world was your oyster but you might get food poisoning from it? Full of possibilities but with new responsibilities, oh to be young again.