Heading downward

Here is the picture of me taken on day one in the Garden of Rodin Sculptures, in front of Rodin's 'Gates of Hell'. On top is 'The Thinker'.
And that's about how I feel this morning, like I am through the gates and swinging downward, into the abyss. The chemo is starting to have it's way with me, and I can feel my blood starting to weaken. Just little things so far, tougher to walk, calf cramps, and I woke at 2:30 and was cold, as though my metabolism was a little suppressed. Josie the night nurse brought me 3 heated blankets and fixed me up; felt like I was in a spa for a moment.

I foolishly forgot about the other stuff I brought with me, like acid reflux. They substituted chocolate cake for the carrot cake I ordered, and I absent-mindedly ate it while talking on the phone to Dana. I woke this morning at 4:30 with a damn reflux attack. Remember how I said send dark chocolate? Nix that. Here is what you can send me, which you all have been doing - good thoughts. Theresa brought me antacid liquid, plus I drank 2 glasses of water, and the fire is dampened, but who needs that? Too bad, I love chocolate.

This phase I am going through is called 'Induction', and someone (who said that?) pointed out to me that I had already gone through it once, so this is really 'reinduction'. My tour of duty was 'extended'. I get a sense of how unfair that must feel to our boys in the Middle East. This is kind of like our war in Iraq; they come in, blast the hell out of all the infrastructure at huge expense, and hope the people don't reject what gets put back in its place. I mean aren't we witnessing host v. graft rejection in the Middle East? Let's hope I do better. In fact, is Osama bin Laden a little leukemic cell, been hiding out in some part of my body like my gallbladder? Let's catch that little bastard and send him throught the gates of hell. Focus.

I walked about 3 miles yesterday, 5543 on the pedometer and each is just about a yard if I take big steps, like on the golf course. So there is your challenge. In the middle of the after lunch walk (2787 steps) I got a nice cramp in my left calf, probably lack of use in the last few weeks. When I got back to my room Dr. Rhee came in and said they could take me off saline IV as I seemed well-hydrated. I was compelled to tell him about the cramp, and he had to change his mind and I am still on saline IV this morning. However, Dr. Jonas just came in one minute ago and said they will end the saline IV this morning as I am flushed of Daunorubicin and well-hydrated. My blood counts are descending slowly but still in the low end of healthy. So I will be off the pole and on the mask, free to roam.

Nurse Jana came in yesterday afternoon with these 2 large needles, PEG-Asparaginase, 1675 mg in each, one for each arm. She built it up like she was removing a bullet and we'd run out of whiskey - gave me a stick to bite, told me to take a deep breath, get ready. I said jeez, just do it, it's a shot and I have had hundreds. It didn't hurt at all. Later it felt like someone punched my arm. I love how pain can just be so fleeting, and sometimes you can act the tough guy and impress the nurses.

I am definitely sending some WBCs on vacation to Albania, where Cindy is working and hanging with the locals. That's Cindy trying to fly, I think. Doesn't look like much for waves, but pretty serene looking.