White blood cell demo

Wednesday
I decided to take a day off from leukemia yesterday, and instead just have a head cold. They had to give me 2 units of blood, so I was stuck on the IV pole for 6 hours anyway, and so I didn’t go for any walks until the end of the day. A lazy day. I watched Republicans play golf for huge sums of money, which was boring. I find myself rooting for the foreigners.

I did meet with the nutritionist, who confirmed that I was turning into a fat pig and needed to cut back on starches and cholesterol. I ordered oatmeal for breakfast, with scrambled eggs.

Thursday
I woke up at midnight with chills, and by 3 am was running a 102 fever. I had to take the big black bathrobe and make it into a blanket. So this morning they ran a lot of cultures and did some x-rays, but this is the effect of the common cold on someone with no defense. A couple of Tylenol and I am back to normal temp., and they have me hooked up to a couple of doses of antibiotics to fight the cold.

I have hit the wall, so to speak, of chemo, just as I eat my scrambled eggs and oatmeal. This sudden wave of nausea just washes over me. I knew I didn‘t feel right because of the cold, but I couldn’t drink the coffee this am, and that’s a sign that things are wrong. The nurse Michelle from Kittery Maine is watching over me pretty closely this morning, and when I tell her I feel nauseous she says Well, this is when most patients feel their absolute worst, they hit bottom, do I want something for nausea? So she brings this shot of compazine, starts injecting it into the IV, and it’s like I am the dog at the pound getting put down, the world just starts to spin ever so slowly, the curtain is being dropped! She only gives me half the shot because she can see the reaction, and says First time with compazine can be pretty strong, huh?

Right now it is 12:30, I just had a cheeseburger and some chicken soup, I am running a mild fever and typing this while I lie in bed. I slept from 9-12, solid. It seems they ought to be able to just warehouse people when they get cancer and want to chemo them, just knock them out for as long as it takes, wake them when they’re cured, it is not like you’re missing some fun thing.

The docs don’t want the wife coming and hanging out with me for more than a half hour this weekend, so that is brutal. If this is going to be my rock bottom then I got real lucky compared to most. The docs said they can’t believe I hung in as long as I did without nausea or catching a cold. I am just going to have to stay positive that any time I spend crawling the floor, calling the dinosaurs, is part of the process I have to go through. Reminds me of college.

One kinda funny thing happened today. A knock comes on the door (most people knock, kinda odd in a hosp it seems to me) and in comes this pretty student. She says there is a group of students that is coming by this afternoon and they examine patients as part of their training, would it be alright if they examine me? I was a little floored, because a stupid cold germ has me fully laid out, and now they want to have 5 students poking at me. I told her no, probably not a good idea, I am too susceptible right now.

I need a shower badly, and that's where I am heading.

7:30 at night, just came from a short walk. I feel OK, had a decent dinner. I had to tell Nick and Patrick L they probably shouldn't come by this afternoon, too bad, but I just feel so susceptible to every little thing right now. I spent the whole afternoon just nodding in and out of a slightly fevered sleep, watching golf for 2 minutes at a time. I am getting these odd cramps in my hands and the numbness is settling into my fingertips, from the Vincristine. They kept asking if I was feeling it and it started yesterday. If they hadn't ever mentioned it .....? I started getting weird hand cramps reading the paper tonight, too, like I had crab hand, had to shake it out, gotta ask about that. Just too much laying about for two days has me feeling all thight, need to stretch.

I am really missing the human touch of my family, too, the time you just spend snuggled into a kid and smelling his head, feeling the soft comfort of the wife, even the cool fur of the dog. Nurses can't really provide that, they have to remain clinical, not enough time and I don't think they could mentally take it anyway. I am anxious to get past this induction phase of chemo, get the blood counts back up and just be normally sick, not isolation sick. Watched a good movie last night BTW, The Station Agent, which was about other ways that people can be isolated.